It started like a passing event on February 10 when residents of Nakisunga Sub-county in Mukono District witnessed drama.
A married man walked into a nearby bar, gathered his friends and a few patrons that cared to listen to narrate that morning’s ordeal. As they sipped on a few pints, their conversation was punctuated with domestic issues.
Geoffrey Maali Kaigwa, told his friends about how his wife had become problematic.
He walked out of the bar in Nakisunga, Mukono District, looked around, saw Rose Nansubuga and caught his breath. They had never met before. But that was it. Love filled the air and in four hours, Kaigwa had committed his heart to Nansubuga. To him, she was the missing better half.
Kaigwa is a 45-year-old businessman who accuses his wife Joanita Nakubulwa of committing adultery from which she is alleged to have got two children. As if that was not enough, he claims Nakubulwa had been denying him conjugal rights and used to steal money which was meant to be invested in different family projects.
With this at the back of his mind, he opted for a charming and younger woman.
“Every man marries for love but my first wife was a nag,” The jolly groom with bloodshot eyes says, adding; that he avenged himself on Nakubulwa who he had spent with almost a decade.
Kaigwa had a traditional marriage ceremony where the first wife was seen seated quietly in a corner. She looked lonely and gloomy. Also, some local leaders such as the LC1 Chairperson Lyton Nabukenya who doubled as the master of ceremonies However, only the relatives and friends of the man attended something that has left the locals puzzled.
The man says…
The soft-spoken 45-year-old runs a small shop and practices subsistence farming. Kaigwa felt the urge to enjoy the companionship of a younger woman. A woman that would be subservient.
“ I have been married to Joan Nakubulwa for almost a decade and have two children. It has not been a smooth sail. On February 10 morning, I requested Nakubulwa to prepare for me breakfast and also wash my clothes. She refused saying it was my turn to do it myself. After all, I knew the way to the kitchen and could do the laundry. She added that she did not have time for me.”
“I have no time to wash your clothes and you should get another wife to do all want you want,” she went on. This irked me.
I left home and gathered my friends at Nakisunga Bar. I narrated to them my ordeal as we sipped on our drink. Everyone agreed that I deserved better. This is the time I recalled there was a young beautiful woman in the neighbourhood. I had always seen her from a distance at the shops but had no idea who she was and what she did.
I had previously met Nakamate, a woman from the same home as the young woman I secretly admired. Coincidentally, she was an aunt to the former and I had taken her contact.
My friends led by Musoke beckoned Nakamate and asked to speak to the young woman. And behold it was Rose Nansubuga. He looks at the bride coyly. I felt excited.
We sat and talked for close to four hours. I asked her about who she was and where she came from. Meanwhile, my friends had promised to support me, financially and morally as long as I wooed her. I opened up to her about my feelings for her and how badly I needed a marriage partner. I promised to set up a business for a better livelihood. She seemed hesitant, but I stuck to my guns and she yielded. I felt like a dark cloud had cleared from my sky.
I broke the news to my friends who started shopping for items such as soda, beer, rice, cartons of mineral water, meat, matooke and cake. Others hired a music system and a vehicle to transport us. I did not involve the girl’s parents because we agreed to stay together. I plan to do income-generating projects with Nansubuga because she is hard working. I have already bought pigs to boost the farming project. However, her grace period to satisfy my needs is two years. if she turns out different, I will get another bride.
Bride speaks out…
My name is Rose Nansubuga. I’m 21 years old and come from Kasana village in Masaka district. I was a housemaid before meeting Kaigwa, the love of my life. I left home because I had failed to raise school fees. My mother did not support my idea of moving to Mukono but I insisted because Aunt Nakamate lived there. I got a job as a housemaid and i used to see a stranger (Kaigwa) passing by our neighbourhood. I did not know him or his intentions.
One day, Aunt Nakamate’s daughter, Maria told me about a secret admirer. She used to tell me about the man but we had never met. On an unsuspecting day, Kaigwa sent her [Maria] and other two men from the nearby bar to tell me about his wish to marry me.
We walked to Kaigwa who was at Nakisunga Bar. Smiling, he told me how he had been watching me and loved my ways. He also said his first wife had mistreated him and he wanted to remarry right away. I had not planned for marriage but compared to the job I was doing for a meagre pay, I gave in.
I got to know that Kaigwa was married because Maria talked about his marital status before the ceremony. My relatives are not happy with my decision. They saw me in the papers and watched us on TV. They call warning and asking me to quit the marriage that I will never have a bright future.
First Wife says……
Joanita Nakubulwa, 35, Kaigwa’s first wife was disconcerted by what the husband did.
I went to the reception and watched my husband wed another woman. At first, people at the function had tried to stop me from attending thinking I would interrupt the proceedings. Anyway, I was disappointed by friends who attended the ceremony.
“I know the simple procedures of a legal marriage. This man is just exploiting Nansubuga’s illiteracy. Tell me where you have seen such ceremonies come first before the ceremony. Ebyo ssebo nkubulire byakifere [the marriage is unlawful],” Nakubulwa says of the ceremony.
I tried to go to the local Council chairperson to stop the wedding but it was too late; the LCs had also rushed to attend the ceremony.
I cannot accept to share a man. I will instead get transport back to my parents in Mityana. My only worry is that I’m pregnant and not sure of a future as a single mother.
What do you think about people who get married at first sight?
Lillian Namazzi, Businesswoman
“ That is why domestic violence is on the increase nowadays. Maybe such women have lost hope in their life because when someone loses value for her life, they go with every opportunity that comes their way.
John Bahati, Technician
“ To me, it is not right to marry someone you have met for the first time because that person could be having bad manners such as stealing. She may one-time walk away with your property and leave you in tears.
Irene Nandutu, housewife
“ I believe men are doing that because ladies have lost respect for their bodies. I don’t believe someone who has respects for her life can accept to be married to someone she has met for the first time.
Muhammad Mawanda Engineer.
“ I think nowadays people marry because of money not love. They forget that free things are dangerous to their lives or future. I don’t believe you can choose a spouse who you plan to grow old together in a matter of hours.
Annet Mukangwiri, housewife
“ I don’t think such marriage can last for long. First of all, they appear as strangers to each other. I think religious leaders should sensitise people about the importance of marriage and what it takes to become husband and wife.
David Kakande Bodaboda rider
“ Such marriage is cheap. The couple will not perhaps have respect for each other. I think people who do that have a hidden agenda. That could be one of the reasons why couples are killing each other nowadays because of not taking time to know each other’s traits.
Mariam Nantogo Businesswoman.
“ That is like setting yourself for death. The man can kill you the next day because you have not taken time to know his behaviours. Besides, the man can never respect you at all. He regards you as a desperate woman.
Rogers Kabirisi Mechanic
“ I call that a rushed marriage. I don’t support it at all. It seems people are forgetting the moral foundation which is vital in the success of marriage. Moral foundation means taking time to study each other’s traits and background.
Author: Liban Farah
Editor of Faafiye.com
Host of Faafiye Show
I can be reached by Email at firstname.lastname@example.org